This is the second week into the school term. Ideally, you should already know what you want aspect of your text you want to work on, which sources you will need and have already started gathering them (if you can’t get some of the texts you need for your Final Year Project, refer to my post on how to use NTU’s document delivery to get them for free.) Books can take up to 8 weeks to arrive, so you are very close to the deadline that you can order books and reasonably expect them to arrive on time, with enough time for you to read the information. In other words, its right about the time when you should be starting on your annotated bibliography for the sources you already have.
But what on earth is an annotated bibliography and what can it do for me?
Simply put, its a bibliography with a summary of important points/ points of interest within your source. While you are not required to hand in an annotated bibliography for your Final Year Project (for the English department at the time of writing), it is quite useful for your own reference, especially when you start to have an increasing number of sources to review. Most advisors will probably, at one point of time or another, also ask you to start something like this to help you keep track of sources.
How do I start the annotated bibliography?
Purdue has some examples which you can make use of, but I’ve seen people just making written notes in a notebook or notes within the document itself. (While I do encourage some sort of order, I know my annotated bibliography was mainly notes in margins, lots of sticky tabs courtesy of A*Star and time numbers scribbled onto my working drafts.)
Those who know me personally know that I was bullied for 2 years, through high school. I toyed with the idea of writing an open letter to them for a while but I have not managed to get the time/ the courage to sit down and write this till now. But I believe I owe it to myself to write this, to find some sort of closure.
The thing is, I’m kind of obtuse. So I don’t know who the hell you guys are. All I know is you guys are very real, at least in my mind. It kills me to admit this but there is always doubt when I meet people. I never know who it is who will turn on me, who it is who will laugh behind my back. There is always fear, doubt and then panic. And yes, all of this is running through my mind before I give a handshake, a smile.
But every time this happens, I push it to the back of my mind. And then I give that handshake and that smile. Because I refuse to be broken, or even bowed by you. Because why should I? I have not done anything wrong and I am not worth less despite you guys trying so desperately to tell me that. Actually, I guess I should thank you guys since I started valuing myself more and started giving no shits for people not worth my time. You are a reminder that I should (and I will) value my good friends who stuck with me. These are life lessons that I will always treasure.
Do I hate you? I don’t anymore. Even though I know you were being malicious (it was not accidental for sure), there are more things I have to pay attention to. More songs to sing. More poems to write. More debates to have. But I don’t want to forgive you either because I have no energy for that. I suppose this is indifference and I can understand why people call it the opposite of love.
You guys don’t deserve to win, not with me at all. So I will go ahead and create a beautiful things without any permissions. And I will go ahead and speak as freely as I want (within limits).
And if it kills you to think of me chatting with friends, well, too bad. Because I will do it with or without your permission.